Image: my dad, ohman's birthday Editing - pinkaholic :D
Basecodes: manikka sunsetsilhouette

Hey,

Where did you go? I can't believe that its been 8 years since I woke up one morning to find that you'd abandoned me. Lying beside me wasn't my best friend anymore but some cheap imitation with a face that doesn't even look like you and cheap string material to replace your once majestic fur. I remember that I once wondered if you were tiger napped and went bawling to Mum and Dad. I've never seen you since but I definitely do miss you a lot.

I'm really sorry though, the inevitable happened and I couldn't stop the painful process so I ended up growing up. Thinking back on that day a decade ago still brings me to tears. But as Dad would say life still has to go on. I graduated from Miss Wormwood's class, went to elementary school and here I am now, in high school. Who'd think that I'd ever make it here?

Well, I wish that you were still with me every single day, when I go to school or whenever I meet new people. It seems that now I can't run around wrecking havoc however and whenever it pleases me because they've forced a new word into my brain- "Responsibility." I realised that mum and dad would no longer cover me whenever I made a mistake. Instead, I'd have to answer to the consequences myself. Well, I also have to be responsible in my homework and be punctual whenever I can. I have to be responsible in what I do and do what people in authority tell me to do, even when I don't want to do it. I used to not care but now I have to, just because I've lived a few more years on this earth. Things are still best when you're a 6 year old.

I used to live my life with having fun taking precedence in my life, but now I'm being forced to stay at home all day to do my homework, or to study for tests which I have to do well in or risk getting a second-rate education. And if I don't get the best education, I'll have to live a life of poverty and slavery to the people who know more than I do, simply because they succumbed and let themselves be subdued by work instead of doing what they truly want. I missed the times when I ran out of class, not caring if I missed out on my work or coming up with fun excuses to not do my homework or travelling through time to get it done! (Remember the time, when it snowed and the schools were closed? And the day after that I still didn't do my homework and was saved by the bell?) Well, at least I did it in a fun way. Things are best when you're a 6 year old.

I confess- I'm a traitor to the cause. Dictator-for-life of G.R.O.S.S (Get Rid Of Slimy girlS) no more! I grew up and somehow, I ended up loving girls! To make them notice me, I stopped wearing the same red-striped tee shirt that I loved so much. My hair can't be messy as well & I have to use wax and all to make it look cool. Basically, I'm not who I used to be anymore. When I'm being myself, I'll wonder- "Hey am I good enough? " and then I'll just end up screwing up everything. I was thinking: 10 years ago I was throwing snowballs and being disgusting towards Susie Derkins!! (She's now the sweetest and nicest girl in high school and she probably won't give a hoot about me anymore, ugly cretin that I am.) I remember telling her about my lunches without any qualms. After all, only my opinions mattered. Things are best when you're a 6 year old.

In a way I think I understand why you suddenly left- You wouldn't want to experience what I've gone through would you?

Well, I thought I'd never get through life without my best friend by my side, until I made another one. I mean, who better than the master and creator of the universe? Without Him I don't think I would make it through another day of being a teenager. Yes, that's what they call me now. Hearing Mom and Dad go "You're not a kid anymore, act your age" every other day really annoys and depresses me sometimes. But God's just got this spark of joy that encourages me everyday and allows me to go on. So instead of doing work for the sake of getting good grades, I do my work for Him. I try my best to remain true to myself cause He says that it's what He likes best. I try not to care about Susie anymore cause He says that He'll settle that. My purpose in life is not just money and friends and girls. It's to do His work and the best part is, He won't make me do it unless I want to! Well, sometimes I fail, I get sad over stuff that are trivial, but after all I'm just human, trying to follow God's standards. I'll never give up trying though.

I wonder if they have tigers in heaven and I wonder if you're up there now. We could build more snowmen, lie back in front of the fire with hot chocolate and comic books and praise and worship God all day. Thanks for everything Hobbes. I wont ever forget it, and it's the one part of my life that I'll treasure forever. But I have to trudge on now stop embrace reality instead of letting it ruin my life.

Your best friend,
Calvin =)

these few days have been full of ups and downs. Definitely i havent felt so roller coasterish in soo long. i mean usually i'll either just be sad or happy throughout the day but now im just like happy one moment and sad the next. mood swings are annoying. so if i sound pretty weird, forgive me =)

i find it really scarie when i think bout the bad stuff that's gonna happen to me and in the end it happens to my friends. esp with regards to relationships and stuff. i'll think of all sorts of horrible things that will happen or all the nice stuff which wont happen to me and then i look around and i see my friends actually experiencing it but it never happens to me unless of course i think too much and then start acting as though it's gonna happen to me too and then i screw everything up.

haha what's new?

it's 11:10 now and my french listening compre's at 12. oops. i think i'll sleep and pray on the train. it kinda helps =)

"Getting Into You"

when i made up my mind
and my heart along with that
to live not for myself
but yet for God
somebody said
"do you know what you are getting yourself into?"

when i finally ironed out
all of my priorities
and asked God to remove the doubt
that makes me unsure of these
things i ask myself
i ask myself
"do you know what you are getting yourself into?"

i'm getting into You
because You got to me
in a way words can't describe
i'm getting into You
because i've got to be
You're essential to survive
i'm going to love You with my life

when he looked at me and said
"i kind of view you as a son"
and for a second our eyes met
and i met that with a question
"do you know what you are getting yourself into?"

i'm getting into You
because You got to me
in a way words can't describe
i'm getting into You
because i've got to be
You're essential to survive
i'm going to love You with my life

i've been a liar and i'll never amount to
the kind of person You deserve to worship You
you say You will not dwell on what i did but rather what i do You say
"i love you and that's what you are getting yourself into"

i'm getting into You (getting into You)
because you got to me (because you got to me)
in a way words can't describe
i'm getting into You (getting into You)
because i've got to be (because i've got to be)
You're essential to survive
i'm going to love You with my life

i'm getting into You (getting into You)
because you got to me (because you got to me)
in a way words can't describe
i'm getting into You (getting into You)
because i've got to be (because i've got to be)
You're essential to survive
i'm going to love You with my life

You said "i love you and that's what you're getting yourself into"

=)

im too tired to blog bout it now but today went well. save for the horrible dota game that i played. BUT NO THAT"S NEVER GONNA DAMPEN MY SPIRITS. muahahahah im super happy whee whee wheeeeeeeee =)

hmm. havent blogged in a while. heh. lazy. oh well, nothing's happening much in my life anyway except maybe a few classmates who became psycho all of a sudden. sigh. too much stress i guess. projects are due soon and the exam's exactly a week away. ooo well. just relax man. i mean u guys study so hard so you all shld noe all ur work. i think if there's anyone who shld be stressing out it shld be me lah. hahaha.

And so another week has passed, go to school late, come back home early. laze around. get forced to play dota, let mummylim scold... blah blah blah.

im a bored boy and i refuse to study hhahaha. maybe later.