Saturday, August 07, 2004
Havent really sat down and think about stuff for a long time.
Fear resides in me. I'll probably never do anything like this again. I just wanted to know if you cared. I mean nothing to you. You probably wouldnt even cry if I would be called home by the Lord right now. And I wanted you to know that I care. A lot. But you pushed me away. I'm hurt. You run away from me like a plague. You fear me. Why? Don't you know that what you do cant stop me from caring and loving you any way? I desire nothing more than your happiness, your joy, your emotions... I want to be a part of your life. I want to make sure that your life is as good as I can try to make it to be. Childish and immature but I dont care.
Maybe I should stop caring. Stop so that she'll be happy. Make her comfortable around you again they say. I know i know i know. I've tried to for so many times but I cant just take it out and throw it away poof just like that. Everytime i fail. Just like all my tests. Just like in almost everything I do. Sorry.
I'll have to do it this time. I'll free you from me =)
~I cant dream anymore since you left. I miss you singing me to sleep~
Sometimes I feel that I just go to the Lord cause I'm so useless I cant do anything right. I dont love my God as much as I think I do. Or maybe it's not enough. It's time to do something for Him instead using His strength.
I'll stand up and do whatever He wants according to His will. I wont look back anymore. I'll look foward and win souls for Him. It's a battle and I'll be God's soldier.
Throw anything you want at me and I'll overcome it. Cause I've a God that loves me.
And I'll love Him back.
~ HL high calcium, high protein, low fat = great drink during reflection. Yummy. ~